Fire is Fading
by PrimClove
Summary: "I look at myself and I see a monster. A cold, heartless monster who I don't believe Katniss could ever love." When the rule that a male and female tribute will be crowned victors, Cato and Katniss are brought together by the deaths of Clove and Peeta.
1. Fire That Burns

_There has been just a small rule change, Tributes, _Claudius Templesmith's voice booms down from the shielded sky, _the previous rule saying that only one tribute can stand and be crowned victor has been taken away. Two tributes will be able to win, if one is a female and the other is male.  
_My heart is thudding in my chest so hard I'm sure that everyone else in the arena will be able to hear it. The immediate thought is Clove. I didn't exactly take well to the small girl from my District in the beginning, but I admit she has grown on me. I know everyone sees me as Brutal Cato, the heartless killer, and I was a good actor. No one would ever guess I was just pretending, trying to shut out my emotions. I like the idea of saving even one more life. We will win this, Clove and I. The only other people left in the arena aren't much competition, except for the large, dark skinned boy from District 11, Thresh. He's huge, muscular, strong, but he won't stand a chance against Clove's speed and her knives. There's the red headed fox-like one from 5, who everyone knows as Foxface. The dark haired, stormy eyed Katniss Everdeen – although quick and agile – is no match for me and Clove. When we find her, we will find Lover Boy; it's like killing two birds with one stone. How convenient. I have to say I'm surprised he's stayed alive this long after my sword stabbed him in his thigh. I think of how much fun Clove and I will have teasing and killing Girl on Fire. She's strong minded and stubborn, and it's certain she won't go down without a fight.  
I want to run from our camp at the lake to find my District partner and celebrate Claudius Templesmith's announcement, but I know she will be waiting next to the cornucopia for the feast at sunrise. We had argued for a while about the decision to go to the feast, me determined that there isn't anything we needed, but Clove is curious to what could be in the bag.  
The Capitol Anthem starts playing and the sky is lit up with the picture of Rue, a small wide eyed girl from 11. Her image flickers for a while before it changes to a photo of a blonde haired, blue eyed boy. Under his face, is the number 12. _Excellent, _I think. Lover Boy is already dead.

I hear a strangled scream and shoot upright in my sleeping bag. "No! Cato, Cato!" I know Clove's voice when I hear it. She doesn't seem very far away, probably at the cornucopia still. I don't do anything except grab a belt of knives and a spear before I'm running so fast the trees are all a blur. I stop dead in my tracks when I see Clove lying on the ground next to the golden horn, her expression far away. Thresh, the one from District 11, is running into the field and I take one more step before throwing my spear and watching it sink into his back. This time, I don't feel regret or sadness or guilt about killing the boy as the cannon goes off and I cup Clove's small head in my blood stained hands. She looks at me sadly, and memories rush through me. Her hopping around the obstacle course in our training centre, throwing knives from thirty metres away and hitting the target perfectly each time, smiling at me as we shook hands at the reaping.  
"Cato," she manages to whisper. "Win this for me. Go home and t-tell my-y-y fam-mily I l-love them," she slurs, managing one last sob before her chest stops rising and falling.  
"I will, I promise," and then I gently push her eyelids down so her eyes are closed, and kiss the top of her head.

I'm still screaming for them not to take her away when the hovercraft comes into view and extends its sharp, taloned claw out and picks up Clove's small body.  
"Never let go, Clove, ever," I manage to whisper, removing my grip from her hand as it pulls her up into the sky.  
I should be worried about the two other tributes seeing me like this, like the boy I was before I started training for the games. Selfless, heartbroken, miserable… Human. I was so caught up in my own emotions, I almost didn't hear the quiet moaning and sobs coming from the other side of the cornucopia.  
Katniss Everdeen lies curled in a ball on her side, blood and tears staining her face.  
"Peeta, I'm here. Peeta, Peeta, please, I'm here," she mutters and continues to choke as blood from a deep gash across her forehead enters her mouth.  
She's a mess, sure, but I can't help noticing her natural beauty. Unlike Glimmer, who caked her face in makeup and wore a foul smelling perfume, Katniss's face was gentle and she smelled of pine trees and berries.  
Wait, what am I thinking? District 12's are not beautiful. It's not possible.  
I press a hand roughly onto her shoulder and shake her. "Come on, Girl on Fire, wake up."  
She stirs slowly and sprawls out on the grass so she's lying flat on her back, the perfect position for me to drive a knife through her chest right now and end the games. But her innocent, wide grey eyes make me hesitate. How many can I kill before I still to feel guilt and remorse? And how can I kill a small girl who's looking at me like she's just seen a monster? In her eyes, she probably has.  
"Please, don't," she tries to scurry backwards but the loss of blood from her head has made her weak and she gives in, lying back on the ground.  
I grind my teeth together. If I had the will to kill this one girl, Foxface and I could go home. And if I decide to protect Katniss and hunt down the read head, who's to tell me I'm not going to feel the same way killing her? "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right now, Girl on Fire."  
She stutters incoherently for a few moments before using all her strength to push herself into a sitting position and lean back onto the side of the golden horn. "You're not a monster, District 2."  
Her words startle me enough to make me drop my blade that I had chosen from my belt. It drops to the floor next to my boot and I step on the handle, making sure the girl can't reach it. "Oh yeah? And how do you know that?"  
"Because I saw the way you looked at Clove before she was taken away. Monsters don't feel upset, and by the look on your face, you were in a lot of pain."  
Was I really that easy to read? I could see the life oozing out of her by the second as blood continues to flow from the cut on her head.  
"It doesn't matter anyway. You're going home. I'm not going to last much longer. And yes, you're easier to read than you may think, if that's what you were wondering."  
I don't know why I felt the urge to help Katniss Everdeen, because I knew that as soon as I got home, my mentor Brutus would be going off his head at me for being so weak minded. But she was dying. "I have something for that," I rummage around in the bag that I had collected from the feast and pulled out a small tub of dark brown ointment, a bandage, and some tingawa leaves. "I don't know why they gave us this stuff; we most certainly didn't need it. But now I'm thinking it's lucky they did." I pour the ointment onto a leaf and place it on Katniss's gash, wrapping the bandage firmly around her head.  
Her body relaxes noticeably and she lets out a moan of happiness.  
Her hand finds mine and I lace my fingers through hers without even thinking about it. "Thank you," she breathes.  
I don't say anything, but can't help admire the look of satisfaction on her face. I stroke a few strands of loose hair back from her face and kiss her cheek. "Anytime, Girl on Fire, anytime."

The Gamemakers must be already getting bored, because they turn up the strong, cold wind and they sky in black in almost an instant, with dark grey thunder clouds looming above us. Water trickles down, slowly at first, and I try and wake Katniss up from her fitful sleep. We're on the edge of the forest, next to the golden horn, but the thin trees don't provide much protection from the rain.  
"Fire Girl, get up," she slaps my hand away and tucks herself back into her sleeping bag. I sigh. "You give me no choice," I heave her onto my shoulder effortlessly and head to the cornucopia as fast as I can with a thrashing, kicking girl on my back.  
"Cato, let me down!" she screams.  
I dump her down on the sheltered floor of the cornucopia and chuckle, looking at the scratches and punches her fingernails made while I had carried her here. "That's going to leave a bruise, Spitfire. Did you do that to Lover Boy when he carried you into that cave of yours?" the second the words are out of my mouth I regret them, because as soon as I mention Peeta Mellark, she starts crying hysterically and I sit down next to her and put an arm around her shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Katniss."  
She pauses for a second. "That's the first time you said my real name," she smiles almost sadly, shivering like crazy.  
"Are you cold?"  
She nods and I smirk. "Move over then."  
Spitfire gives me a puzzled look but moved into the corner of her rather large sleeping bag and I squash into it with her. It's a tight fit, but I manage to turn so I'm facing her and put both arms around her little body.  
"You're so warm," she whispers.  
"Don't get any ideas, Fire Girl," I warn playfully as she snuggles closer to me.  
We fall asleep like that, enveloped in each other's arms, and if I could I would stay like that forever.


	2. Bliss Without Hunger

I wake up huddled in the sleeping bag, still under the cornucopia. Looks like the Gamekeepers wanted to give us a while to rest before the finale. All of the supplies were still at the lake, guarded by the land mines that Marvel had restarted, and all we have here is my belt of knives and a sleeping bag. A sleeping bag with only me in it? I shift my weight so I'm leaning against the back wall and scan around for Katniss. She lies outside on the muddy grass, from the rain last night, sobbing and thrashing, calling Lover Boy's name. Looks like I'm not the only one who's heartbroken. She must be asleep, because once I've rolled the sleeping bag up; I walk over to her quietly and gently place a hand on her shoulder. Her eyes are closed, her face innocent and tear stained. Her breath is short and forced, and she was shaking uncontrollably even though it felt about a hundred degrees. I know what it looks like when someone has a nightmare, I've had plenty, and I've held Clove when she woke screaming in the middle of the night.  
"Katniss, it's okay. Wake up, it's just a dream," she tenses at my touch and her stormy grey eyes flutter open. For a moment she looks confused and lost and it takes her a moment to know where she is.  
"Are we still in the games, Peeta?" she whispers. So she thinks I'm Lover Boy? I try not to look disgusted at the suggestion.  
"It's me, Katniss, it's Cato," I reply, sitting down next to her.  
She looks at me, puzzled, before her eyes widen and she gasps, trying to scuttle backwards on her back. "Don't touch me, you're a monster! You killed Peeta! Let me go!" she screams while I grab her hand to pull her up to her feet. I have a firm hold of her so she can't run away and then I cup one of my hands under her chin. Why the hell did I need to prove to her that I'm not a monster? That I didn't kill her boyfriend? She was just a District 12, after all.  
"Listen to me, Girl on Fire. You said it yourself last night, I'm not a monster. You said I had feelings, and monsters don't have feelings."  
"I was delusional! Peeta had just died, I had no idea what was happening to me."  
"You don't think I understand how you're feeling? Katniss, you aren't the only one who just lost someone you loved."  
Her next words surprise me enough to entirely let go of my grip on her. "I didn't love him, not in the way you think I did. I loved him like I love my sister, and Gale."  
So the whole star-crossed lovers thing was an act? Surprise, surprise.  
"I didn't love Clove that way either. I did once, but I realised it was stupid. One of us would be dead soon enough. But that didn't stop me loving her like a sister. She was, is, the only person I care for." Why the hell was I opening up to this girl? The whole of Panem was probably hearing this right now, but I didn't care. Did anything even matter anymore?  
"I'm sorry, about Clove," she whispers, still refusing to look me in the eye.  
"Me too."  
We're both standing in front of each other, only a few inches apart. Tears continue to fall down her face, and I slide my thumb across her face, wiping them away gently. She gasps at my touch but doesn't move away. She stays perfectly still, just like she does when I lean in and my mouth touches hers.

The little silver parachute floats down into a tree just near the lake and I almost don't hear it over the birds and wind. Katniss is asleep, and it's my turn to take watch, so I take a blade from my belt and cut the parachute down from the tree. I opened up the folded white piece of paper at the bottom first.  
_Stop with the acting, Cato. No one is enjoying it. Kill her and come home.  
- B  
_So my mentor, Brutus, thought I was acting? Maybe he was right, why didn't I just kill the Girl on Fire and go home with that red head from 5? No. I wouldn't do it. She believed that I wasn't a monster, and wouldn't I just be proving her wrong if I killed her? I was tired of being in this arena, being a Gamemakers play toy.  
"My cut from Clove's knife is gone," Katniss stares intently at me as I open the tin in the parachute and find two bread rolls, an apple and a small pot of lamb stew. Her seam grey eyes gaze into mine and it's not a look of horror or disgust, she looks almost… happy? No, no one was happy in the Hunger Games.  
"That's good," I try to keep me voice steady but it's hard when she continues to look at me like that.  
"Why did you help me?"  
_Shit, _I think. "You were dying."  
"And you could have just let me die and then go home with District 5."  
She's right. I could have, and if it had been anyone else I probably would have. "Because you're different than the other tributes."  
Katniss doesn't ask for an explanation. "Go back to sleep," I say gently, "I'll keep watch."  
She shakes her head and strands of loose hair fall from her side braid. "I can't. Whenever I sleep, I dream of Peeta and then I wake up and realise he's not here."  
I don't know why we're opening up to each other like this. When I talked to Clove, all we had to discuss was weapons and who got to kill who, other than that we had nothing in common. But with Katniss, we had both lost a loved one, we both obviously despised the Capitol even though I hid it much better, and we want to get out alive. That's more than I've ever had in common with anyone.  
I sigh. "Come here then," I pull her sleeping bag over to where I sit in the shade against a tree and she immediately pushes closer to me, putting her head on my lap. If Foxface were to raid our camp right now, we wouldn't be prepared. But I don't care at all. With Katniss, time seems to stand still.  
"You're nicer than everyone said you would be, Cato," she laughs quietly.  
"You're rather impressive for a District 12, yourself," I joke. She smiles. God, her smile.  
"What happens when we get home?" So much hope in her voice, like she really believes we will both get out of this alive. Maybe we could.  
But I hadn't taken any time to think about what problems my feeling for Spitfire may cause. I wanted to go back to 2, just as much as she wanted to go back to 12. But would it be that easy to just walk away from this girl?  
"I don't know, but what I do know is that I'm not going to leave you," I say.  
She just nods. "Thank you, for everything. I'd be dead if it weren't for you. I owe you, 2."  
"Let's make a deal. If we both get out of this alive, you don't owe me anything."  
"We'll both get out of here. We'll both win, right?" her voice sounded so hopeful.  
"Of course, Katniss," and I lean down and kiss her for the second time that day. Her lips are soft and taste of apple juice. I pull her from my lap and pick her up so her legs are linked around the back of my waist, deepening the kiss and pushing her gently against the tree.  
She's the one to pull away. "Cato, listen, did you hear that?"  
I strain to hear anything except for the birds songs. There it is, branches snapping and bushes rustling on the other side of the lake, coming closer to us. Foxface sprints to our clearing, a look of sheer determination set on her face. I'm about to grab her and snap her neck, when I realise that she can't have possibly been making all of the rustling and sound in the forest. There was too much for someone of her size to make, especially when she barely touches the ground as she runs towards us. And that's when I notice several footsteps behind Foxface's, but not human ones. Mutts. Running straight at us.


	3. Am I Heartless?

The mutts surround the cornucopia and Katniss, District 5 and I stand on top. Katniss sat whimpering at the top of the horn, clutching her clawed, torn thigh in pain. I kneel down next to her and grip her hand. She continues to stare directly at Foxface, who seems to be just sitting opposite us with no visible weapons.

"Kill her, Cato," Katniss urges only loud enough for me to hear. It reminds me of Clove's screams as I was trying to climb up a tree where Katniss was sitting, the night before the Tracker Jacker attack.

I look to District 5 again. She doesn't even look scared. Shouldn't she be worried that I'm going to stab her with the blade that I hold in my hand? No. Because she has a weapon that she pulls from the side of her jacket. She takes hold of a small pistol and attaches a sharp dart coated in purple juice.  
"Cato, it's nightlock, she's coated the darts with nightlock," Katniss gasps.

Foxface nods and smiles slyly, just like Clove's. "As soon as this dart," she admires the small needle on the end of her pistol, "enters your body, nightlock with fill your system, and you'll be dead in a minute. Unless you want to die, don't come any closer."

So we're at a stalemate. I can't kill her without dying myself. Is that such a big deal? At least Katniss will still go home.  
I spread my arms wide and laugh. "Go on then, shoot me."  
District 5 shakes her head and gestures to Katniss, who is still huddled in a ball shaking, blood flowing quickly from the mutt's scratch on her leg. "I don't want to kill you, I want to kill her. Wouldn't you rather she dies and we go home?"  
"Over my dead body," I growl through gritted teeth, and lunge for Foxface, pushing her harshly against the metal ground of the horn. I push my arm down on her wrist so she can't shoot and place my blade just above her chest. "This won't hurt, it will be over before you know it."  
"I always knew you weren't heartless," she hisses the words that make me freeze.  
"Excuse me?"  
"People told me you were a monster, and I believed them. But just now… If you were a monster you would of let me kill District 12, but you care for her, don't you?" she continues, proud at herself for figuring it out. Hold on, figuring what out? I didn't care for Katniss! Even as I say it in my head, I know it isn't true. I had held her, let her sleep on my shoulder, tell my feelings about Clove to her, kiss her. My first kiss. I wouldn't do that for someone I didn't care about.  
"Go to hell," I spit and push the sword deep into her chest. Her body goes limp after a minute and I push her eyelids close, like I had done with Clove.

Damn it, would everything I do always remind me of that girl?  
I feel shoulders hold me from behind and Katniss's warm breath on my neck.  
"We're going home, Cato," she tries to sound happy but I can tell it's forced. Her leg must be killing her and I'm scared that she will lose too much blood before the hovercraft is here.  
The mutts stop their growling and start rumbling back into the shadows of the forest.  
Claudius Templesmith's voice is projected to the cornucopia, "Ladies and Gentlemen of Panem, I give you our two victors of the 74th annual Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen and Cato Whishart!"

The hovercraft appears and a long ladder pulls us aboard. I freeze as soon as I place my foot on the ladder, Katniss holding my arm tightly.  
We step aboard and Katniss untwines her hand from mine, running over to her mentor and team.  
I'm met by the raging eyes of Brutus and Enobaria, my mentors.

It wasn't the 'congratulations, good to see you!' that I had hoped for.  
"What the hell was all of that?" Brutus growled. "It's caused quite an uprising. People are questioning the Capitol!"  
I shake my head as nurses check me from head to toe for any fatal injuries. I tap one of them on the shoulder and gesture to Katniss, "The girl over there is hurt badly on her thigh. You might want to help her first."  
Enobaria's outburst is next. "You can't actually care for that District 12 scum, Cato! She's nothing! Nothing!"  
I push her strongly against the closest wall of the hovercraft, my hands closing tightly around her neck. "Don't you dare speak about her like that."  
The mentor hisses through her golden, spiked teeth. "I can't believe it. Brutal Cato, in love with a girl from a lower district."  
Katniss's whimpers are growing louder as the nurse's poke and prod at her injury and I give Enobaria's head one last slam against the wall before going over and holding her hand. She grips it tightly and I think what the hell I'm doing. She's a District 12, and I live in 2. But until the victory tour is over, we don't have to worry about that.  
The victory tour. Over a week on a train, travelling to the different districts. With Katniss less that fifty metres away from me at all time. This might just test what our relationship's made of.


	4. Filled And Emptied Once More

When I lost Clove, it felt as if a part of me had been taken away, that some of me was missing. I was half empty. I now remember when I had felt that feeling before. When I had left for the Hunger Games. District 2 was a part of me as much as Clove was, and to find out that I wouldn't be able to return until after we had visited Districts 12 to 3 made me almost destroy my entire bedroom on the train. Katniss's calming words had soothed me, but not before I had smashed a window with a lamp and jagged pieces of glass stuck into my hands.

"Blood, on the floor!" Effie Trinket had exclaimed, utterly horrified. There was something about her that made me like her. She was like a breath of fresh air from all the reminders of my time in the arena. Nothing that mattered, she made seem like it was a huge deal, and everything that mattered, like Katniss and Peeta Mellark being selected for the Games, she acted like it was nothing to worry about.

"At least it isn't mahogany, Effie," Katniss had said, making Haymitch go into a laughing fit and Cinna chuckle under his breath.

I had thought this trip would be a… _interesting _experience. What with Effie's attitude, Haymitch's drunken jokes, Brutus and Enobaria's constant flirting and of course, the lovely Katniss Everdeen.

Once all of the dirt, grime and blood had been cleaned off, she was stunning. Happiness seemed to glow off her.

"When I first left for the Games, I never thought I would come back. I promised Prim I would try, but I was aware of you and your group of Careers," she says to me as we sit at the dining table, waiting for the others to turn up.

"Prim…" I say, "She's your sister? The one you volunteered for at the Reaping?"

She nods. "I love her. That's why I allied with Rue," she seemed almost ashamed to admit it, "Because she reminded me so much of my sister. Do you remember Rue?"

It would be hard to forget the wide eyed, bird-like twelve year old from District 11, after watching Katniss stay with her while she died, and sing until the small girl's final breath. She had told us that it was her way of telling everyone she didn't belong to the Gamemakers.

I nod. "Of course. Apparently you caused quite a stir in a few of the districts, including mine."

Brutus's rough voice erupts from behind me. "Oh, it wasn't just the little girl that caused a stir."

Katniss shoots him a confused look. As if she doesn't know what he's talking about.

My mentor picks up the Capitol paper and reads the headline. "Girl on Fire and Brutal Career, the new star-crossed lovers?" he frowns. "Better get your act together, kid. Don't want anyone thinking you're interested in _her_," he mutters the last word in disgust.

"So what if some stupid Capitol idiots think that me and Spitfire are star-crossed lovers? Since when have we cared about the rumours in Panem anyway? It doesn't matter, because that's all it is! Rumours!" I had only meant to get Brutus off my back, but for a moment I had forgotten that Katniss was sitting directly across from me. Or, she was. Now, she's heading for the door to her bedroom as if I just told her a bomb was about to explode. Maybe in her world, one just did.

"Katniss, wait, I didn't –" I reach for her arm but she tugs it away from me viciously and slams the door shut. Even though the door blocks me from seeing her, I can still hear her sobs over the silence that fills the hallway.

XxOxXxOxXxOxXxOxXxOxXxOxXxOxX

It takes six hours for Katniss to finally come out of her room when she thinks that everyone had decided to leave her alone. Six hours, I have spent sitting outside her door, waiting for the sound of her footsteps.

Her face falls when she sees me. "You're still here?"

"I decided I would be nice and grace you with my presence."

"I'm not in the mood for jokes Cato. Is that what we were to you? A joke? Because if so, I didn't find it funny."

"I may be a lot of things, Katniss. Heartless, cold, sarcastic, gorgeous, breath taking. But I'm _not _a liar." Well, I'd never lied to Katniss anyway.

"You're wrong. Either you lied to me, or you lied to Brutus, so technically either way, you're a liar." Damn.

"Correction; I've never lied to _you_," I say. "I know what my feelings are for you Katniss!"

She lets out a sigh and for a while I'm afraid she isn't going to say anything and instead slam the door in my face again. "But maybe I don't. Maybe I don't have time to sort out my feelings, Cato. They're hardly important when I just lost Peeta, won the games, may be in huge danger of being killed or threatened by Snow and just got my family back!"

It felt like I had just been stabbed right through the heart with one of Katniss's arrows. It was selfish, no doubt, but incredibly hard for me to hear that she was just going to put her feelings for me in a box and close it until she stopped being so overwhelmed with everything else that is going on. But I knew not to push it with Katniss, if I ever wanted a chance in hell of her even considering me. "So, what are you saying exactly? That you don't have feelings for me?"

"No! I'm saying that I know I have feelings, I know what those feelings are, I know I love you but I have too much on the line to risk it for some stupid District 2 career that will probably be sent off to marry a woman of his parents' choice when he's twenty!" she gasped. So did I. Had she just said that she loved me? No, I must have heard it wrong. But I know I didn't.

"Katniss, I would never…"

"Don't," she interrupts, "Don't promise me something that you aren't certain you can."

And her door slams shut again, but this time I don't hear sobs that make my heart want to break, I hear glass shattering and something hit the door repeatedly.

I let the adults take care of Spitfire though, because my brain is still overwhelmed by everything that just happened, so I started on the facts that I knew were true.

I volunteered for the Hunger Games, I killed more than half of the people in the arena, Clove died in my hands, I met Katniss, I fell in love…

I felt as if that empty part of me had been filled again, only to have it taken away one more time.


	5. Time To Face Home

"Stay with us, Sweetheart," Haymitch whispered into Katniss's ear as we stepped off the train and onto the dry, dusty ground of District 12.

I'd thought for five days of what Katniss's home would be like, and by the look of it, I couldn't tell what she liked so much. It was run down and dull, with a sharp wired fence running around the outside of the District. I think I'd rather stay on the train rather than sleep in the planned accommodation in Victor's Village. No one is in the small, public space where the District's Reaping Day was held as we arrived.

"Where is everyone?" I ask no one in particular.

"We're a bit early. They're expecting us tomorrow," explains Haymitch.

I groan. "What now?"

Effie shoots me a look of annoyance. "Impatience is not a good trait, Cato. I suppose we can go and talk to Mayor Undersee that we're early, and he could make an announcement?" she suggests in her stupid Capitol accent. "Katniss, you know your way around here better than any of us, lead the way, Darling."

"Ok," Katniss mumbles the first words she has said since our talk, before throwing her bedside table at the door and injuring her wrist.

I spot the plum, white bearded old man before he speaks, standing up on the stage where Effie Trinket had called Primrose Everdeen's name. "Maybe you'd prefer a cup of tea with the President himself?"

President Snow smiles coldly and looks at me pointedly. Two peacekeepers dressed in white uniforms stand next to him, guns prepared.

Haymitch is the first to speak. "Of course! After all, it would be stupid to turn down an offer to speak with the ruler of Panem." I could hear the sarcasm in his voice.

xXxOxXxOxXxOxXxOxXxOxXxOxXx

Anger shot through my whole body, making me shake. I hated him, what he did. I help him responsible for the Games, Clove's death, turning me into the monster everyone thinks I am. And now to have to be so close to him and be forced to inhale the sickly smell of sweet roses, I couldn't stand it.

Snow takes us into a small, ugly building behind the public arena and opens the door, ushering me and Katniss into a room, completely empty apart from a wooden desk and three chairs. Our whole squad waddles in behind us, but the President puts out a hand to stop them from entering.

"Just the children," he says and shuts the door behind us, blocking my view of Effie's horrified face and Enobaria baring her golden teeth.

I sit down on a purple velvet, cushioned chair next to Spitfire and Snow takes a seat on the other side of the desk. His icy blue eyes go from me, to Katniss, back and forth.

"You've caused quite a scene in the Districts, you two. People are starting to question the Capitol. 11 started an uprising after you," he glared at Katniss, "decorated that little girl from their District in flowers and sang her to sleep. Very touching, though, I must say."

I felt a need to defend the girl next to me, but I knew she didn't want my help. "If someone you cared about was killed in front of you, would you just walk away?"

"I don't care about anyone," came his reply. I wasn't surprised. Who would ever let Snow become close enough to them for him to start caring about them?

"What is it you want, _President_?" I say as politely as possible.

"I have an offer for you, but it's entirely your choice. The only thing keeping the Capitol oblivious from what is going on in the Districts is the star-crossed lovers for 12 and 2," he smirks and my heart starts to race. Whatever chance I had had with Katniss was gone the second I opened my mouth to my mentor. "So either you keep this act up, or your families will be sent to my custody, where I will kill them as you watch."

If it was just me he was threatening, I could have easily said no. I don't have any family left to worry about. But the way Katniss talks about her sister, and Gale, I could only imagine how much this would hurt her. "Who said it was an act?"

Katniss shoots me a confused look but she soon understands and turns back to the President.

"You may have the Capitol believing that your love is real, but I'm not that easy to convince."

"What do we have to do?" I ask.

Snow smirks. "The victory tour is being… postponed," he explained. "Instead, you will be leaving in the morning and going straight to District 2, where you will be put to stay in the same house, in the same bed, making love every night, where cameras will be watching your every move."

My whole body freezes. Not from relief that I would be home in less than forty eight hours, but that I'm practically being forced to have sleep with Katniss for the Capitol's sick entertainment. I can practically feel the disgust radiating off Katniss who has visibly tensed in her seat. I half expect her to say no.

"Fine," she spits out. "We'll be ready to leave in the morning," and she walks out without being dismissed.

Outside, she slides down to the ground of the stage and pulls her knees up to her chest tightly. "It's messed up, how can he do this to us?"

"He's the president, he can do what he wants, Katniss," it comes out harsher than I meant.

"Maybe we should talk about everything that happened on the train," Katniss says quietly.

"Are you saying we could try?"

"I'm not saying anything," she replies. "But maybe we should get it all out before we go to 2."

"Fine. You know I didn't mean anything I said to Brutus, he's just always so rude to me and I got angry. And I'm so sorry."

"I know, and I do li –"

"Catnip!" _Shit_. She was cut off as a tall, dark haired brown boy, looking only a few years older than her, pulls her off the group and pulls her into a tight embrace. Her face lights up and she looks happier than when Claudius Templesmith announced that we were the winners of the Hunger Games.

"Gale," she smiles and wraps her arms around the boy, _Gale_.

Behind him stands a small, blonde girl who has tears in her eyes. She fiddles with a piece of grass and stares at in fixedly. I recognise her from the replays of the reaping as the little sister Katniss volunteered for. Spitfire lets go of Gale and takes hold of Prim, spinning her around. I just stand there awkwardly until Gale asks who I am.

"He just my –" Katniss starts but I cut her off.

"Boyfriend. I'm her boyfriend," I say and hold out my hand which he ignores. It strikes me that he should be fully aware of who I am, the Hunger Games being televised and all.

"He didn't watch any of the Games," Katniss explains and I can tell she's struggling to keep her composure. "Gale's against it all. He only knows what he's heard."

"I heard that two people won," the dark haired boy continues to glare at me, "not that the District 2 who won was your _boyfriend_."

I just roll my eyes. "I'll let you three continue your little reunion without me."

I saw the way Marvel looked at Clove. I saw the way Glimmer looked at me. I saw the way Lover Boy looked at Girl on Fire. And I also saw the way Gale looked at her. Completely in love.

We sit on the train after our night in 12, where I waved politely to people and smiled for the cameras as Katniss was greeted and embraced by practically the whole District. I'd been so excited to go back home when the Games were over, but now I feel myself dreading it. When I get there, I will greet my friends, be shown my house that I will be made to share with Katniss, sleep with her, get up and repeat it the next night.

"So, what's between you and Hawthorne?" I ask Katniss as we pass through District 3. _Almost there_, I think to myself.

"We're just friends, Cato," she replies.

"Didn't look like it to me," I mumble. I feel a strange feeling in my stomach. Anger? No. Jealously? Maybe. No, I couldn't be jealous of Gale. He was a _friend_. But then I remember the way he looked at her.

"We're here!" Effie stalks into the room, squealing and clapping like a little girl.

I look out the window and sure enough, we pass the fence and enter District 2. Time to face my home.


	6. These Are The Facts

My name is Cato Whishart. I'm almost 19. I had been training for the Hunger Games for as long as I can remember. I volunteered when I when I was 18. I killed over half of the people in the arena and watched my best friend's life slowly fade away. I then found Katniss and together we killed Foxface. We won the Hunger Games. President Snow visited us in 12 and told us that we would be filmed sleeping together for the whole of Panem to see, for his sick amusement and to convince him that our relationship isn't an act. I should have been disgusted by the idea, I was at the start, but now I'm not. I then saw Gale look at Katniss, _my _Katniss, in the way that Marvel looked at Clove, Glimmer looked at me, Peeta looked at Katniss… _I_ look at Katniss. And as soon as we said our goodbyes to everyone in District 12, and I took one look at Katniss and imagine going home without her, I realised I'm in love. For the first time in my life, I'm completely, utterly, totally in love. Katniss said she would give '_us_' a chance. And now we sit in the dining room for breakfast, hands intertwined under the table so no one else to see.

"Twenty more minutes and we will be in District 2!" Effie exclaims, slamming her slender fist down onto the table.

"Don't hurt the mahogany, Effie," Katniss teases, earning a glare from her escort and a chuckle from Haymitch and Cinna.

I can hear the voices of Brutus and Enobaria in the kitchen. They've been refusing to eat with us since the third day on the train, after deciding they'd had enough of sitting awkwardly while the rest of us laugh and joke with one another.

"Cato, go over your speech again," Effie says, tossing me my palm cards that I casually toss onto the floor. I appreciate how nicely everyone has treated me, just like part of the big, normally happy, family.

I tilt my head back and groan. "I don't need practice, Trinket. I could write a crap speech and it wouldn't matter, because everyone will be totally mesmerised by my looks and charm, anyway."

Katniss tries unsuccessfully to hold back a laugh.

"If you were half as funny as you are, boy, you'd be twice as funny as you think you are," Haymitch says.

"Hey Effie, why don't you go and think of ways we can deflate Cato's ego?" Katniss asks, pushing Trinket out of the room and pushing her into the lounge, closing the door behind her and leaning back on it. "Finally, she's gone."

I felt as relieved as she looked. After forcing us both to go over our speeches at least a fifty times, it was good to have her off our backs.

"Well, I'm going to get a drink, and Cinna," Haymitch winks at the stylist, urging him to follow his lead, "has to go and… design some more dresses, so you two can just stay here. Don't do anything I wouldn't do," he wiggles his eyebrows playfully at us and waves, walking to the other side of the train, the side where they _don't_ keep drinks. Damn, that man never misses anything.

"Yeah, I should be going… Lots of, uh… dresses to design," Cinna awkwardly backs out of the room and in the direction of his designing room.

I laugh and drop down on the three seated velvet couch, pulling Katniss along with me. She's the one who presses her lips to mine and I tangle my hands in her hair, pulling her to lie down on top of me on the couch.

"Now, now," she scolds playfully, "remember what Haymitch says. We can't do anything he wouldn't do." She looks happy, cheerful, but her eyes seem far away. Like she's distracted, almost worried.

I push a few loose strands of hair away from her face. "Is something wrong?"

She sighs, pushes herself up from her position above me and I pull me feet up so she has room to sit down next to me. "It's nothing, really."

"Obviously it is, Katniss," I say slowly.

"It's just… When I was in the arena… Do you remember that girl in the beginning who lit the fire and you killed her?"

I frown and try to think back to the first few nights. It rings a bell. "Vaguely," I reply.

"Well, I was in a tree nearby, but Glimmer and Clove didn't know that and when you and Marvel and Peeta went back to check she was dead, Clove mentioned a girl back in 2 that was the reason you wanted to come home."

What the hell? I don't even remember telling Clove about a girl I was interested in, because there wasn't one, until Katniss. "Did she mention a name?"

She nods. "Saffra Reactor."

Saffra Reactor? I vaguely remember the girl with long, auburn hair and green eyes. My aunt and uncle had introduced me to her once at a dinner with her parents and told me that I should watch out for her, because she might just be my future wife if I play my cards right. She'd begged for my attention day after day and told everyone I was her boyfriend.

"Katniss, she's nothing. My family thinks that I should be her suitor in a few years, but I have no interest in her," I cup Katniss's face in my hands and look into her stormy eyes.

"I thought you said you didn't have any family."

"None that I care about," I say darkly.

She doesn't ask for a more detailed explanation, which is good, because I don't want to talk about the abusive aunt and uncle that had brought me up when my parents died in the Games. They had fallen in love when he was seventeen and she was fourteen, and that year he had been reaped. No one volunteered for him, so he went in to the arena, and when it was down to three people including my father, the other two from District 1, the other careers killed him. A week after his death, my mother had found out she was pregnant with his child. It was a disgrace for a woman so young to have a baby, so nine months later I was sent to live with my mother's sister, Elodie, who was twenty seven. The next year, it was arranged that my mother would volunteer at the reaping, to pay for her actions. She hadn't been trained, and she was the first to die. I never knew my mother, and I had volunteered for the Games to get revenge.

"So this Saffra girl," Katniss whispers, snapping me out of the past events of my life, "If she's nothing why did Clove talk about her like she was an important part of your like?"

I swallowed. "Because it was arranged that I will marry her when I turn twenty."

Katniss's face goes from confused to totally shocked and she keeps moving her mouth as if to speak, but no words come out.

"But I won't, Katniss, I'm not going to. I will go up to her family when we get home and tell them that it isn't possible."

Katniss smiles. "She'll probably get the idea that you're taken when she sees us moving into the same house."

I laugh and lean forward, inches away from her lips when Haymitch walks in, a full glass of clear liquid in his hand.

"Water? That's a change from your usual drink, Haymitch," I say, moving back from Spitfire slowly.

"Did you do anything I wouldn't have done at your age?" he asks, as if I had never spoken.

"No!" Katniss exclaims, throwing a pillow at her mentor.

"Oh," the man almost looks disappointed.

"I don't think there are many thinks you _wouldn't _have done at our age," I joke and Haymitch seems to think about this for a moment before nodding solemnly.

"Well, I'll let you get back to your business, love birds. I just thought Cato might want to know that we're in District 2."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

It had been over nine weeks since I'd seen my home, but it was the same as always. I'd never gotten a chance to see Victors Village, because it was far away from where my house was, and anytime I was out of the house, I was training or at school.

Unlike District 12, we arrived exactly on time and were greeted by the cheering crowds of almost everyone in my District. They congratulated me and Katniss as we descended down the stairs of the train, waving and blowing kisses in the crowd's general direction. To say they were glad to see us would be an understatement. The crowd went on for almost three hundred metres, making a path for us to walk through. It led us directly onto the stage where I say my words of thanks, how happy I am to be home and how great it is to have come out alive; everything the crowd wants to hear. As Katniss starts her speech, everyone falls silent. In 2, it's a secret rule not to associate ourselves with the lower Districts, but of all the people in the audience, I don't see one person who looks at her as if she is lower than us. They admire her courage and bravery; some even feel intimidated, a few are jealous.

"Since my time in the arena, I've seen how much everyone around me has changed," I'm jolted wide awake as I realise that these aren't the lines Katniss practiced fifty times on the train. Effie, Haymitch and Cinna are at the back of the audience, and by the looks on their faces I can tell they're just as shocked as me, but Girl on Fire continues. "I met my sister a few days ago, in my District, and it feels like she's a whole new person. I think she's grown stronger, watching me struggle in the arena and almost die plenty of times," she laughs and shakes her head, "I had this all planned out before I came on stage and now I've forgotten everything," a few people in the crowd smile, but most continue to gaze at her, urging her to continue on. "I think I'll just shorten this up. I know most of you probably hate me, a few in particular. I'm part of the reason Clove is dead," this earns quite a few gasps from the audience and I see Clove's mother fiercely wiping tears from her face with a cloth. "And I am so sorry for that. No one deserves to go into the Games, and none of you deserve to have had to watch her die. None of us deserved to be made to kill other innocent people, but that's what the Games do. They change us into monsters we shouldn't be," and with that she's walking of the stage, blinking constantly to stop tears from rolling down her face. Everyone claps quietly and make room for her to walk past, heading back in the direction of the caravan.

I stalk off after her. "Katniss, wait!" We've passed the crowd now, leaving them all back in the square. I reach out an arm and pull her towards me, wrapping my arms around her waist. "That was amazing, truly."

"I'm so sorry, now everyone probably thinks I'm some idiot that didn't deserve to win the Games. I'm sorry," she blabbers as I stroke her hair and rest my chin on the top of her head.

"Why don't we go and check out or new house, _sweetheart?_" I smile and pull her towards Effie, Cinna and Haymitch who are rushing over to us. Not surprisingly, Brutus and Enobaria are nowhere to be seen. I don't even remember them getting off the train with us.

"I'm starting to think giving you and I a chance was a good idea," she whispers into my ear.

I kiss the top of her head once more before looking at Effie. "Trinket, would you please escort us to our new home?" I ask politely.

"Of course, Cato," she links her arm into the one that Katniss isn't clutching to, "That is what I do, after all. I escort people."

A shrill squeal brings me to a stop and two slender arms wrap around my waist from behind. I immediately spin around and grab hold of the arms. "Baby! It's so good to see you again," Saffra Reactor presses my lips against hers before I can push her away.

"And who are you?" Katniss pulls the small auburn haired girl away from me roughly. Do I sense jealousy in her voice? I smile to myself.

Saffra brushes away the imaginary wrinkles in her dress and runs her fingers through her hair, looking at Katniss like she was a cockroach. "I'm Cato's fiancée."

Spitfire smirks. "So you're Saffra Reactor?" She sounds unimpressed.

"Yes, is there something wrong with that?" The auburn haired girl raises one eyebrow.

"I just expected someone prettier, that's all," Katniss smiles innocently, ignoring Saffra's mouth drop. "Hey, Cato? I think it's time to go back to _our _house, now."

I must admit, Saffra is rather beautiful. All of the boys at school were constantly staring at her while she walked past, but compared to Katniss? She was nothing.

OXOXOXxXxoxoxoxoxXxXOXOXOXO

I expected people to be waiting around outside our house for us to shake their hand, or take a photo of us, but instead it was silent in the large, brightly coloured house once Effie and the rest of the crew had left.

"Be safe, kids," Haymitch had winked at us playfully after Effie had warned us that the dining table is mahogany, so we aren't allowed to ruin it.

"What's up with Trinket and mahogany?" I ask as I pull Katniss up the stairs and into _our _bedroom.

She shrugs. "I stabbed a mahogany table with a knife once and Effie went totally mad. It's always been a little joke since then."

I close the room's door behind us and place Katniss gently against it. When our lips touch, it isn't a quick peck like we had been using for the cameras. Instead, it is gentle and lingering. Her hands find their way into my hair and push my lips harder against hers, a sudden urgency occurring.

"Katniss, are you sure…"

"We don't have a choice, remember?" she pulls a small piece of yellow paper off the back of the door and holds it up in front of me.

_Give us a good show,  
- President Snow_

I snatch the piece of paper from her and rip it into small pieces, dropping them onto the wooden floor below us. "I don't care what Snow wants. Are you sure _you _want it?"

"I'm sure I love my family and I want them to be safe, what else can I be sure of?" It's a good point. It's either this, or Snow goes around and kills everyone she loves one by one.

I'm hesitant, though. Suddenly, I feel as if this is wrong. No, of course it's wrong, but I feel like… I don't even know, I just know that I don't want it to happen like this. "Katniss, this isn't right. When it happens, I want it to be the right time, when you're ready."

I see her blush, a bright pink colour coming to her cheeks. "You're right. We have weeks here; one night won't hurt, right? I'm tired anyway."

I just hoped that postponing it for one night, wouldn't mean a tragedy for Primrose.


	7. Almost Love

Weeks ago in the arena, as soon as my eyes shut and sleep washed over me, I would be pulled into nightmares. I would dream of Clove being pulled up by the Capitol hovercraft still struggling and screaming, me being dragged into the forest by mutts, an arrow shooting straight into my skull as soon as the gong goes off… and when I woke up, I realised that I was still in the nightmare, but this one was called the Hunger Games.

I wake up to Katniss clinging to my side. She looks peaceful when she's sleeping. Younger, almost childlike.

The door suddenly swings open and Haymitch walks in, drink in hand. "Up you get, Love Birds. Time to leave your nest," he winks.

Katniss's eyes flutter open and she quickly composes herself so she's sitting upright in bed, blanket pulled around her bare chest. "Get out Haymitch," she growls. "Let us put some clothes on and we'll be down."

From what I remember from last night, she'd fallen asleep on the floor and I had picked her light body up and closed my eyes with her in my arms. She'd kept whispering Lover Boy's name in her sleep, begging him to come back, apologising for leaving him and asking why he'd had to leave. I thought it would be awkward, her calling out another boy's name in her dreams, but instead I was there to comfort her when she woke crying.

"Good morning," she whispers and gives me a light kiss on the cheek, quickly pulling a purple dress over her head.

Once we're both dressed, we head down the stairs, hands joined together. Effie stands at the bottom, a beaming smile on her face. "Sleep well?"

Even though nothing happened, they obviously think it did, so I decide to humour them. "Actually, Effie, there wasn't much time for sleeping."

That shuts her up and makes Haymitch go into a fit of laughter while Cinna stands there trying to hide his smile. Katniss slaps my arm playfully and I squeeze her hand.

"So, uh…" Effie stutters, "are… are you planning on doing anything today?"

"Not re –" Katniss starts but I place a hand over her mouth.

"Yes, I'm taking Katniss out. You can see yourselves out the door, I assume. And Effie, you might want to close your mouth," I smile at the still-gaping woman and pull Katniss out the door.

"So, are you going to tell me where the hell we're going?" she asks as we walk out onto the road of Victors Village.

"No way! That would ruin the surprise."

"This is amazing," Katniss gasps.

I look around at the stalls of handmade clothing, fruit and other decorations. They cover the closed-off roads of just below half of District 2. People hold up painted signs pointing towards different sales and a small boy juggles five oranges around in his hands. All of the District is here, making deals with the salesmen and walking away with several bags filled with goods.

"It's the annual District 2 market," I explain, pushing through the crowd towards a stall that is performing a puppet show and giving away a pink, fluffy sweet called cotton candy, a rare food for even the higher districts. "We have one every year after the Hunger Games if one of our tributes wins."

This makes Katniss's face fall a slight bit and anger flickers in her eyes. "So they are celebrating everyone who died in the Games." Not a question but a fact.

I stroke a few stray hairs back from her face and kiss her forehead. "Hey, let's just enjoy the festival, Girl on Fire."

"You've really got to stop calling me that," she growls, but she's smiling slightly.

"Why? It's true."

"Fire has to go out at some point," she says seriously. Damn, why couldn't she just have a good conversation for once? It's a stupid question, after all she's been through, but she could at least pretend to be happy, for everyone else's sake.

"Is there anything you'd like to buy?" I ask gently, pointing out a few of my favourite stalls. "They make the best bows and arrows around here, and the cakes are amazing."

Her face lightens up so much I could swear she's glowing, light practically radiates off her. "Show me the cakes."

We push past cameras and interviewers to get to a small window with decorated cakes filling the front of it. They were the most expensive sweets in the District, and even though my aunt and uncle were more than wealthy enough, they'd refused to buy me one every time I asked.

"Peeta decorated the cakes in 12. Prim always made me take her to admire them in the window, but we could never afford them," she smiles sadly and wraps her jacket tightly around her chest to shield herself from the chill in the wind.

"I'll go and get some fruit, wait here for me," I give her a quick kiss on the cheek and head off in the direction of the food stalls. I reach down to pick up an orange when I'm suddenly pulled out of the shelter by a small hand.

"There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you, babe," Saffra's annoying, nasally voice whispers into my ear, making me shiver. Her fingers trail up under my shirt and I'm made aware that every inch of her body is now touching mine. She looks at me and smirks, pulling my head down towards her lips. Then, she's flying down to the floor, whimpering.

"I have a girlfriend, Saffra, so try to show some restraint."

She brushes the dust off her dark pink dress and looks down with watery eyes. "Why her, Cato? We're so perfect together, I know you know that! What does she have that I don't?"

I bite back a laugh as to not embarrass her too much. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

She pushes herself against me once more and traces the outline of my lips with her thumb. "Just let her go Cato. She's nothing. I love you."

It was too much, and she went from pressed up against me to backing towards a post, stumbling to stay up. "No, you don't. You couldn't possibly love me. I've never done anything but treat you like crap! You really want to know what Katniss has that you don't? She has a heart. She feels things. Katniss is the most kind, caring, selfless person I know. She would give her life to save her family. And when your little twelve year old sister got reaped, you just stood by and watched. There you go, is that the answer you wanted?"

!

We get home to see Effie, Cinna, Haymitch and surprisingly Brutus and Enobaria, sitting around the dining room table solemnly. For once, Effie isn't her usual bubbly self, and sits there rolling and unrolling a napkin.

"Is something wrong?" I ask, locking the door as I enter the room where everyone sits.

It's Cinna that talks first. "They're about to announce the Third Quarter Quell twist."

It shouldn't be a surprise, of course the 75th Hunger Games would be starting next year, but somehow, today I'd forgotten all about the Games.

"But the 74th just finished! Why are they announcing it already?" Katniss exclaims. It's obvious that she isn't thrilled by this either.

Now that I've been in the arena myself, I feel sorrow for the children that will have to face the Games this year.

Haymitch sighs. "The Reaping is tomorrow," he explains. "Apparently Snow wants to get it over with so the tributes can have a while to train in their own Districts before going to the Capitol."

Extra training time? The tributes have gotten the same amount of time to train in the Capitol every year for seventy-four years. Extra time to train is unheard of. But then again, so was two tributes winning.

"Let's get this over with," Brutus swerves into the lounge and switches on the flat screen television. Snow's face appears on the wall and I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from gagging.

"Greetings, Panem," I could swear he is staring right into my eyes. "The time has come to reveal what this year's Quarter Quell twist will be. The Reaping Day will be held tomorrow in every district, so that the tributes will have a stretched amount of time to train at their homes before being sent to the custody of the Capitol. Now, for the 75th annual Hunger Games, and the third Quarter Quell…" I hold Katniss's hand tightly as if she could slip away if I let go of her. "This year's tributes will be selected out of a bowl of previous living victors," he repeats the last sentence a few times and then lets it sink into everyone's head.

"Oh, Katniss," Effie gasps and embraces Spitfire. Of course, everyone will be worried about Katniss before me. So they should be. There are at least ten male victors still alive from my District, but Katniss… she was the only female victor from 12. Which means she would be going back to her District tonight for the Reaping… and then most certainly going into the arena in months to come.

OXOXOXxXxoxoxoxoxXxXOXOXOXO

My mind was made up when I saw Katniss's face as she departed on the train back to her District. I would volunteer today at the Reaping, and do everything I can to protect her, even if I had to risk my life to do it. She had people to live for, I didn't.

I don't tell my plans to anyone, even though Brutus accompanies me as we walk through the crowd and enter the District square. A new escort called Marianne Faltue stands behind a microphone in a ridiculous Capitol outfit that looks similar to Effie's.

"Welcome, welcome, District 2. The time has come to select two courageous people to become tributes for the 75th annual Hunger Games, and also the third Quarter Quell. Why don't we start with the girls?" Marianne shuffles over to the girls bowl in eight inch fluorescent pink heels and picks out a small folded piece of paper. She puts her mouth nearer the microphone and calls out, "Saffra Reactor."

_Shit, no!_ I think as I watch the girl's face go from relaxed to a look of pure fear as she walks slowly up onto the stage. She's never won the Games, so why was she being called up? This was crap. So much for the Quarter Quell rule.

It's Saffra's father that speaks up. "No! My daughter's isn't a victor, she can't be chosen!"

Marianne sighs. "I'm sorry, Sir, but if you have a problem you will have to take it up with the Capitol."

And then the Peacekeepers were pulling the angered man from the crowd and out of the square while he continued to yell.

"And now for the boys," the escort cheers as she opens another piece of paper and opens her mouth to speak.

She doesn't get a word out before Brutus, who is standing right next to me, yells out, "I volunteer!" before I can.

"Excellent, come on up then."

And as he passes my line, he looks me dead in the eye and whispers in my ear, "As soon as I get into the arena, your girlfriend's head will be the first I cut off."

And that's when I jump on him and snap his neck.


	8. A Certain Type Of Punishment

They thought sending me into the arena was a punishment. I thought President Snow would be smart enough to figure out that I _wanted _to go back in. To protect Katniss from all those victors who want her dead so they can have their glory back. Finnik Odair was even jealous of the attention she received. When Snow came to speak to me before I started training yesterday morning, the day after I killed Brutus, I asked why he'd picked Saffra. She didn't deserve to be in an arena full of trained killers, when she had no experience. Like her father had said, she hadn't won the Games. The rule of the third Quarter Quell said that the tributes would be chosen out of a pool ofexisting _victors._

"Rules are sometimes meant to be broken," he had replied.

Even when he tried to change the subject, I would reel him back to Saffra. I don't know why I did it, I'd probably have to kill her anyway if she doesn't die in the bloodbath. But after being in the arena once before myself, I don't think anyone who wasn't prepared should be chosen.

"Because, Cato, what is more interesting than a girl head over heels with a taken victor? I don't think she'd have any problem killing Katniss if she has the strength to do so. At least, that's what she told me before the Reaping…"

I decided to leave alone the Katniss problem, because as long as Girl on Fire is alive, she will be with me. She will only die, once I have already given my life for her. I owe her, for everything she has done. Then I remember her words in the arena… "_Let's make a deal. If we both get out of here alive, you don't owe me anything."_

Well then I wouldn't protect her because I owed her, but because I loved her. When she'd left on the train the night before the reaping, and starting to say those words, she'd covered my mouth. "_I know_," she smiled sadly, "_If we're the last two in the arena, then you can tell me you love me_."

Now I sit awkwardly on the three seated couch on the train with Saffra sobbing in my arms. I continued to pass her tissues that she used to dry her eyes and then throw onto the rug next to us.

I finally push her up gently into a sitting position herself. "That's it. Everyone's going to be fully prepared once we get to the Capitol and will plunge straight into training. They'll have at least one skill." I tried to think what Haymitch's skill was. He was the smartest in the Games the year he won, but I think that all the alcohol he drank had probably washed away all of his brain cells. He would definitely be one of the first to die if someone comes at him with a sword.

Snow had decided that instead of training for months before going to the main city for our week of practice and interviews before the Games, we would be sent to the custody of the Capitol instantly so that everyone would have a fair chance to train, what with the lower Districts having barely no weapons or anything to train with. So now, instead of being in Snow's grasp for one week before being flung into the arena, I would be under his control for several months. Maybe ten, maybe they might start it before they're suppose to. It wouldn't be the only time they had broken a rule.

"Well what do _you _suggest we do? There are no weapons aboard the train, Cato, and even if there were, I wouldn't know the first thing about handling one," the auburn haired girl snaps.

_She can't think like this_, I think. If she has no self confidence and no energy to train, she will be as good as dead when the gong goes off after sixty seconds of standing on the metal plates.

It's obvious she doesn't want my help, so I'm not going to push her. If she feels the need to preserve her life, she can ask me. "Fine, just watch your back in the arena. Finnick will be coming after you first. He has a thing for pretty faces."

XxxXxxXXxXXxxXxxXXxXXxxXxxX

When I had snapped Brutus's neck and killed him in front of the whole District, I hadn't thought out how it would affect _me. _Well, of course I knew that it would mean being punished, but I didn't stop the think that he was the best mentor our District had. And now he wasn't here to help me, or send me parachutes, and instead it's just Enobaria, my new mentor, and Marianne, the escort. It was obvious that the lady with sharp, golden teeth wasn't my biggest fan anymore after I had killed the person she had cared about, but now she was making it clear that she wouldn't help me at all in the Games.

"If you're dying from a stab wound, or infection, or illness, don't look to me for help. You can figure it out by yourself," she growls, stabbing at her porridge furiously. The mentor wasn't one to get upset and go and hide in her room, but instead, she took it out on anything in sight. Like the wine glasses in the kitchen, or her wooden bow and arrow statue.

"I won't be by myself. I'll have Katniss," I say.

She bends over from the wooden table, stabbing a fork into it, and laughs.

"You don't honestly believe that the pathetic District 12 will be able to help you," she hisses. "Unbelievable, Cato. I thought you would have more sense than to put your life in someone else's hands."

Enobaria couldn't honestly believe that after winning the 74th Games, Katniss would be weak and unprepared. "She's just as much a victor as me, Enobaria. And as long as she has a bow and arrow, nothing stands a chance against us."

Saffra sits at the head of the table, mixing around her berries and yoghurt, listening intently. "So you didn't hear…" she sighs and looks to the older woman.

Enobaria chuckles. "There won't a bow and arrows, Cato. The Capitol specifically asked for them to remove those particular weapons to make it more… _interesting_. So, I hope for your sake that she's handy with a knife, or a spear, because otherwise you'll both be dead before you can say mockingjay."

XxxXxxXXxXXxxXxxXXxXXxxXxxX

I stand in the archway of District 12's floor of the Capitol building where we came last year to train for a week. A peacekeeper stands facing me, blocking the entrance. I try to push past him, but he's at least one and a half times my height and just as strong.

"I need to talk to Katniss, move out of my way," I yell.

He's armed, barely. The only weapon he has is a gun the size of my hand that is attached to his white belt. I could easily lift my elbow to his face and knock him out, because at the moment, I'm that desperate to see Katniss. To tell her that I couldn't bear not being able to tell her I love her until we were the last two left in the arena. Because if I died before her, or she is attacked when I'm not there to protect her, I will have never gotten the chance to confess.

Haymitch turns up behind the peacekeeper, and not surprisingly there is a glass of blue alcohol in his hand.

"I thought you may have decided to stay sober for a while," I say.

"Me?" he points to himself innocently. "Not a chance. It's the only way to take away the pain. You should try it some time."

I wonder what pain he's talking about. The pain of watching others die and killing people in the Games? Surely the pain would fade after twenty five years to get over it. I try to imagine myself still in agony and having nightmares of the arena when I'm forty five.

"I suppose you're looking for the girl," a flicker of sadness flickers in his eyes.

"Is something wrong?" I've almost forgotten that the Peacekeeper continues to block me from entering, until I try to step forward and get hit in the stomach by his hand.

"She's… Well," the old mentor sighs, "I don't think there's any other way to describe her other than destroyed. We tried to avoid her watching the replays of the Reaping days, but she wanted to see what had happened to you… and then she watched as you didn't panic to kill a man who you've known your whole life…" his voice trails off, but it was obvious what he was getting at.

"She thinks I'm a monster," I state.

Haymitch's eyes widen and he almost spills his alcohol on the floor as he moved forward a few steps, closer and closer to the door and the Peacekeeper. "No, no, of course not. She just… well, only one person can survive the Hunger Games," he smiles a sad, knowing smile. I remember how he turned his back on his ally in the Quarter Quell so that he wouldn't have to face killing her himself, only to hear her screams and watch her get her throat ripped out by mutts in the form of birds. Either I kill Katniss, or I wait for someone else to kill her. But no, that wouldn't be happening. I would make sure that it's her weapon going into my stomach in the end. Like I've said so many times, she's the one who has something to go home for.

"Why don't you come and see for yourself?" Haymitch grabs my arm but the Peacekeeper, I remember Effie mentioning 12's guard was called Darius, stands between us. "It's alright, he's with me."

Darius shakes his head. "Suppose you haven't heard either, then. The president has requested that apart from training and meal times, the two of them remain separated until the Games."

It was like a blow to the head. I suddenly feel dizzy and my vision goes foggy, and I realise that they are tears. I'm seeing blurry, because I have tears in my eyes. The first time I cry, is because of Girl on Fire. The last time I cried was when my father killed the cat that I had found near my house in 2.

Haymitch barges past the guard and grabs my hand, pulling me into the elevator. "Relax, Darius," he adds to the white uniformed man. "The girl's in her room, it's impossible for her to magically appear downstairs."

Her presses the button that leads us to the ground floor and I step out into the large space. Three doors on the side lead to the training center, the large hall where Caesar Flickerman holds his interviews with the tributes, and the dining room where we all eat our meals. As you exit the elevator, you are shown into the room with all the walls made out of see through glass. I assume they are bullet proof, because I can't imagine the Capitol letting us escape that easily. Music fills the room and I swallow at the song selection.

_Well I was the one who showed you the sky  
But you brought it down, down to my thighs_

_Sadly believed every word I didn't mean  
About loving darkness._

_Well you were the one who thought it was funny  
That half of the world had never seen money  
Shimmy-shuffle 'round, break it all down  
It never comes to an end as long as you can help yourself_

_So, let me go out into the evil world that you know  
Where my baby cries, but I cut the ties  
Oh, let me go, let me go, let me go out into the sinful world that you know  
That you really love  
Just let me be easy to love_

It was the song Katniss had been singing in her sleep the night we had arrived in District 2. I'm caught up in the words, _That half of the world had never seen money. So, let me go out into the evil world you know. Let me go, let me, go. Just let me be easy to love._

Haymitch drags me along behind him and pushes me onto an uncomfortable, shallow red couch. I can barely hear a word he's saying. The music drowns out everything else.

"Katniss," my eyes snap into focus and I look up at the drunken mentor, "she'll be on the roof. After dinner, I will distract the guards around the elevator and all along the District 12 floor. They will be with me for half an hour at the most, so don't take longer than that."

"Do you really think it's smart? Causing a scene right before the Games?"

He smiles darkly. "Why not have some fun in my last few months alive?"

XxxXxxXXxXXxxXxxXXxXXxxXxxX

The look in Katniss's eyes that had been sparked for a moment as she looked at me in the dining room before turning her back to me, it was regret. Sadness, sorrow, I could see how hard it was for her to turn away. But she had, and that's what mattered. She had turned her back and walked away from me with not as much as a word of why she had whispered her apologies before leaving me in the middle of the room, frozen.

I sit on the roof after getting past the guards that were being called to an emergency in Haymitch's room. At least twenty guards were needed, so whatever the man did, I wrote a mental note to thank him greatly for it afterwards.

I sit there waiting for the sound of footsteps or breathing, but nothing comes. Until…

There's the slam of a door and I look up from where I sit positioned next to the doorway, to see Katniss covering her mouth to muffle her sobs. Her face is wet and fresh tears keep pouring down her cheeks, making her makeup run in swerving directions. She's having a hard time trying to cope between breathing and crying.

"God, I'm so stupid, so stupid!" she screams, hitting her fist against the door so hard I heard a crack in her knuckles.

"Katniss," I whisper softly.

She jumps at the sound of my voice and she spins around just as I'm standing up. As I walk forward, she walks backwards into the door, clutching her hand. She looks… scared? No, she couldn't. But the look of fear was bright in her eyes.

"Don't, Cato…" she begs quietly.

"What's wrong, Katniss?" I ask, but don't take a step forward.

"You killed him… you just killed him without even hesitating…" she cries, slamming her head against the solid door.

"Stop it, stop hurting yourself," I say firmly. "It was your life or his. He said that when he got into the arena, your head would be the first he cuts off."

"Oh, so his life isn't as important as mine?"

"To me, saving your life comes before saving my own!" I yell, shaking my head and falling into a sitting position once more.

"You can't die for me. I won't let you. I'll stay with you in the Games, but we are splitting up once it gets down to four of us, if we make it that far. I don't want to be the one to kill you," she says and gives me one last kiss before walking inside.

I take her hand as she's about to close the door. "Katniss, how are you going to kill me if you don't have a bow and arrow?" and then I close the door behind her.

XxxXxxXXxXXxxXxxXXxXXxxXxxX

I don't have any idea as to why I love Katniss. She's a District 12, which means that everyone assumes she's trash. But really, how different are the people there to the people in 2? Maybe it's the fire and fierceness that she shows, and under all of that I know that she has the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met. She proved that when she volunteered for her sister. She is capable of loving, whereas most the people in my home District were married off for money. Katniss is pure and beautiful in every way imaginable.

But, when I look in the mirror… I look at myself and I see a monster. A cold, heartless monster who I don't believe Katniss could ever love.


	9. The Feeling Of Drowning

When I was little, I was oblivious to the world of hatred and death. The only thing I wanted was for someone to love me like I loved Azora Reactor, the little girl who was two years younger than me, but just as strong minded and free spirited. It was a nine year old crush, but it was the only kind of love I knew about. As I grew, so did my feelings for Azora. She was the only person I knew that was so determined to get out of District 2 and have a life of her own, away from serving the Capitol and playing a part in their sick games. It was the only thing we talked about. It was our dream. We imagined going to live in the woods, or trying to find another country somewhere across whatever lies further than Panem. Together, we were so optimistic of our future away from the power that controlled us. And then, on her twelfth birthday, the Games took Azora's life. I was made to sit down in front of the screen and watch her ally turn her back on Azora, tracing patterns into her skin with the tip of her knife while the little girl didn't make a sound, and instead stared right at her opponent, until all of Azora's blood was dripping onto the ground and the life in her eyes was gone. When the ally had asked her if she had any last words, she'd whispered my name and stared straight at the camera hidden among tree branches, and told me that after this, she wanted me to go and live our dream. For her.

It seemed that whoever I loved, was taken away from me, as some kind of punishment for being as stupid as to think I could get away from what was keeping me alive. The Capitol. Azora's name had been pulled out of the bowl at the Reaping day almost ten years ago, my parents were killed in the Games because of their love for each other, Clove died because she had volunteered, wanting to prove to everyone that she wasn't weak, and to make her District proud, because she loved her home. To her, The Capitol wasn't bad; it was a place to love. And after all of that, Katniss and I had won because she was the one who realised I wasn't a monster, and we are now probably going to both be dead in less than a year because of our actions and feelings for each other. So in the end, I guess love takes away all your choices, and is the reason for your death.

If I thought it had been hard to watch Azora die, it was nothing compared to the ache in my heart that I felt when Katniss had turned her back on me on the roof and given me the last kiss we would probably ever have. In District 2, my aunt had forced me to believe that I was stupid and crazy because I had _feelings_. She had warned me that these feelings would be the death of me; they would consume me and eat at my brain until there was nothing left but a body without a heart. I don't think I'm far away from that now.

"Just let me in to see her!" I push my fist into the Darius's stomach and he goes flying back into the front door of District 12's apartment. "Katniss, I know you're in there! Katniss, please! Please just come out here!" I plead through sobs, wiping away the tears that had been constantly coming for three months. I was now used to the salty taste; it was almost a strange feeling when I couldn't taste it in my mouth.

She doesn't come out though, neither does Haymitch. I admire the old mentor now. After days of curiosity, I had finally found out what he had managed to do that had caused twenty guards to leave their places and go into the District 12 apartment. He'd smashed alcohol bottles onto the walls until they were all covered in an orange liquid and the place smelled strongly of Spirits. He had laid on the floor and pretended to have an seizure, screaming out to get the knives away from him, thrashing and kicking anyone who tried to come close to him. In the end, they had no choice but to stick a needle in his arm and put him out of his pretend pain. He never woke up. I don't think he treasured his life anymore. Why would he? Maybe Haymitch liked the thought of dying before the Games. Katniss probably blamed me for his death, too.

It's Snow that opens the door. The sickly scent of sweet roses wafts out and I have to stop myself from gagging. He smiles at me slyly and gestures me inside. Darius doesn't try to stop him as I enter the lounge room. Katniss stands there, with a suitcase in hand. She isn't smiling. The pain in her eyes is obvious and tears trickle down her face. She looks as if she hasn't seen food in weeks. Her clothes hang loosely from her body, chest bones pooping out noticeably. Purple bags lie under her eyes and she lets a gasp come out of her dry, cracked lips.

I breathe out her name but don't take a step forward. Neither does she. We just stand metres away, gazing at each other.

The president clears his throat and pushes me down onto a seat opposing Girl on Fire. "As much as I hate to spoil this precious reunion, we have to talk," he turns his eyes to Katniss, "Darling, would you like to tell him?"

"Tell me what?" I say.

"We're leaving," the girl with the stormy eyes croaks. She doesn't seem happy, though. It looks as if even talking to me pains her.

"In other words, I am granting you _controlled _freedom for three months to go around the Capitol. Do everything you've dreamed to do before you die, whatever you want. Of course, you will be under twenty four hour supervision. Wouldn't want you trying to run away, hey?" Snow smiles.

I'm stunned into silence. I would be leaving this building with Katniss? No, this wasn't a gift. Not for her, anyway. In Katniss's mind, I was the monster that killed Brutus in an instant and then was the cause of Haymitch's death. "I won't go," I say.

"Cato, please," it's Fire Girl that is begging me now. She manages to whisper her sister's name before the president interrupts.

"Either you go, and enjoy yourselves, everyone living happily ever after for the time being. Or, Primrose Everdeen won't live to see too many more mornings."

Katniss comes back with me to pack my bag, and she sits on the edge of my bed as I stand at my drawers.

"I don't know if I'm supposed to be happy about this," I say truthfully.

Katniss laughs a quiet, sad laugh. "If anyone should be worried about this, it should be me," she replies bitterly.

I shoot her a confused look.

"Never mind," she shakes her head and looks down to her lap. I watch as she covers her mouth, trying to stop herself from sobbing.

I'm in front of her in two strides and I feel her tense as I come closer. My hands pull her up gently so she's standing in front of me and I cup her face with one of them. I look at her narrow cheek bones and the layer of fat that had once covered them. "Please, tell me," I whisper, my lips just inches away from hers now. She doesn't pull back.

And I'm pulled back in time to Azora. Our first kiss at the annual District 2 festival. Maybe she's the reason I hate Saffra so much. They were so different, one full of feeling and determination, the other just living day to day in her world, oblivious to anything that happens around her.

"I'm scared that if we're around each other for too long, that I'm going to have to face my feelings," she breathes and my face goes closer to hers.

"And what are those feelings?"

"I feel like… Like I love you."

And then I'm kissing her. I feel as if I'm drowning, and I'm in my last few seconds alive. They say that before you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes. I can't breathe, but I'm in peace for once. I see everything uncover in the back of my eyelids. Azora's death, Katniss's horrified look as I saw her at the cornucopia, my aunt trying to beat me into thinking sensibly, and the feeling that I have when Katniss is around. I think that if a bomb were to go off under my feet, I wouldn't even notice, because I would me so caught up with her. I'm drowning, but I'm prepared to go under, if Katniss is with me.


	10. Here Lie The Dead

_Here lie the dead. Here they lie, peaceful. Here they lie, where their souls are free. Here they lie, watching over their loved ones. Watching over you._

I haven't been to a memorial since the day of Azora's death. And even then, it was only a small one at the end of Victors Village. Somehow I liked the one in my District better. People went there to talk and sit with their family and mourn the lost ones. We respected every person who was killed and placed under the ground. Here in the Capitol, people walked around, pointing to tombstones and laughing. Laughing at people who died for their families, people who were killed in the Games. It was sick.

Katniss's hand is untangles our hands falls onto the ground slowly. The tombstone reads Haymitch's name. And under it, the cause of his death is explained as alcoholic overdose. She placed a bunch of white flowers on the ground next to his name and placed three fingers to her mouth, then to the tombstone.

Haymitch might not have showed it always, but he loved the girl like his own daughter. He'd distracted the guards just so we could be together for ten minutes, and died in the process. Because he valued our lives over his. Someone with that much loyalty didn't arrive every day. I'd remember him forever, not as the drunk mentor, but as a selfless friend.

We sit around his name for a few minutes, talking and laugh about all of his drunken jokes.

"I remember when I first got chosen for the Games, and we met him on the train. Peeta," her voice chokes a bit at his name but she continues, "asked what advice he had for us, and he told us to stay alive."

We both laugh, and then stay silent for a minute, and then start laughing again.

"Goodbye, Haymitch," I whisper and pull Katniss up. She breathes something that sounds like 'I love you', and then turns her back on the tombstone.

I want to go to Clove's place, and tell her that I still think of her every living second. But it would be a lie. When I'm with Katniss, she makes me forget. I feel like I'm forgetting her and moving on too soon, but I know what she would want me to do. She'd want me keep living, for her. But I still can't leave without seeing her and saying goodbye once more.

I stop at the gates of the memorial and turn around to Katniss who is only a few steps behind me. But when I open my mouth, nothing comes out. It doesn't have to. Girl on Fire speaks for me.

"You want to see Clove," she says it as a fact, not a question.

All I do is nod.

I search for name for ten minutes before coming upon it. In the Capitol, there is a tombstone for every family. Before Clove's name are her grandmother, then her great uncle, then her great grandfather and so on. Her name's at the bottom, and under it, the words make me feel paralysed.

_Clove asked that, when she died in the Game, to give a message to Cato Whishart when he won. She wanted to tell him to continue to live on without her, and go and find the girl with the arrows. Together, she said they won't ever find anyone that can pull them apart. Nor will they find anything they can't do._

She doesn't have to mention the girl with the arrow; I already know who she is. So does Katniss. But I don't understand how she knew that I had feelings for her. But that was Clove, able to read everyone no matter how hard they try and conceal any trace of feelings.

"She knew before we did," Katniss says, a slight smile on her face.

I sit there for a few minutes, not wanting to move. I kept muttering that I missed Clove so much, I loved her, I missed her, and I loved her.

Katniss kisses my cheek. "I have to go and see someone else, I'll be back soon."

But she doesn't come back soon. I stay with Clove for twenty minutes and Katniss still isn't here.

I find her at the other end of the memorial, sprawled out on her back next to the tombstone. Rue's tombstone. She opens her mouth, and starts to sing.

"Deep in the meadow, under the willow," all of the birds surrounding the memorial that had been chirping noisily, now stopped as Katniss continues to sing. "A bed of grass, a soft green pillow. Here it's safe, and here it's warm. Here the daisies guard you from every harm. Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true. Here is the place where I love you." It was the song she sang to the little girl as she died.

The girl looks up at me as I approach. "She wanted to be turned into ashes, not buried. She told me in the arena, that when I win, she wanted then to be spread into the ocean that surrounds Panem."

It's an impossible task. First to get Rue's body burnt, but mostly to get away from the Capitol and find the ocean. I've only seen photographs of what lies out there. But then I see Katniss's face of pain.

"We will, for Rue," I promise. The words on Clove's tombstone are still running through my head. _Together, she said they won't ever find anyone that can pull them apart. Nor will they find anything they can't do._

We visit Azora's grave next. On the stone above where her body lies under my feet, there is a carving of an angel being set free and lifting up into the sky. It's a symbol that Saffra drew. She said it meant that Azora was free now, free to live away from the wreck of a country we live in, and free to watch over us. I wonder if she thinks that I'm betraying her, by falling in love with Katniss. But, she would have wanted me to be happy, right? So, I don't cry or collapse when I see her name written on the gravestone, and instead smile and drop a dandelion on to the grass. Dandelions are the way I know Azora is still taking care of me. The day before her name was called at the Reaping, she had taken me to pick bunches of dandelions from her garden and decorate the District 2 square with them.

"If I get chosen tomorrow, as long as you see dandelions still growing, it means I'm still here for you. Even if I do die, part of me will be in the flowers. I'll never let you go," she had whispered.

"You won't be chosen. It's your first year," I remember arguing.

She'd just smiled back at me and pressed her lips against mine. "Remember me, no matter what?"

I look up into the sky, and step away from the grave. "I will always remember you," I say.

Katniss wraps her small arms around my waist from behind and leans against me. "Are you ready?"

I shake my head. I figure that this will be the only time I'll get to visit this place, so I might as well say goodbye to everyone. "There are two more people, actually."

I find my parents gravestone just behind Azora's. It's decorated with rose petals and blue ribbons. I didn't know them at all, but it still hurts to see their names on the stone. On the grass next to it, is a saturated, stained, rolled up piece of paper. A thin piece of black string is tied in a bow around it. And on the front, in smudged writing, is my name.

_Son,_

_I know I didn't give you the chance to know me. But I presume you've already watched the replays of my Games, along with your fathers. You see us as cold murderers, and I understand. The Games is about survival, but since when is it fair to treasure your own life over someone else's? If you're reading this, it means you're in the Capitol. And you will only be in the Capitol if you've won the Games. I won't congratulate you, because it isn't right. But I'm proud that you've made it out of the arena in one piece. It means you're strong. Stronger than I ever hoped you would be. You wouldn't have come to the memorial if you were broken. You would have been too scared. And only one thing can get you through all the horror you have faced, and it's love. Love has helped you through everything. Whoever she is, don't let her go. If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was. If she's already come back, keep her. Don't let yourself believe you are a monster, because monsters don't have a heart. And you, Cato, have a heart of gold. I'm just sorry I can't be with you to treasure it. But, she is. _

_I love you. _

_Your mother, Deanne. _

I read the letter twice. Then again, and a fourth time. Everything my mother said is true. About it not being fair to treasure your own life over someone else's, and mostly about Katniss. The girl had come back to me after watching me kill somebody with my bare hands, and I gave her every reason to leave me. I gave her the _chance _to leave me, and she took it. But she came back.

Isabelle Frith had appeared to be the least dangerous, least threatening tribute of the 72nd Hunger Games. Light freckles are sprinkled across the ridge of her nose, and her chocolate, curly brown hair falls down to her waist. Those wide, innocent silver-blue eyes could make anyone fall into a trance. She's fifteen, but looks about ten. I think that's why she won the 72nd Games, because no one suspected her to be vicious. But then you see the way she uses animals' bones and carves them into sharp shards, digging them into the backs of people, and you can tell she's anything but innocent. Some idiots think it was a fluke she won the Games, because really she only killed three people. The remaining two tributes except for her killed each other and she was crowned the victor instantly. But she had earned her survival in the arena.

She stands in front of me at the memorial and I grip Katniss's hand tight enough to cut off her blood circulation. Either she was let out of the building, or she had escaped. I presumed the second option.

"District 8," I hiss.

She smiles at me, and it's real. It isn't a lethal, innocent smile, but a true one. She looks like someone in need of help. "We need to go somewhere else, the Peacekeepers will find me soon enough."

I shake my head. "If they find us with you, we'll be accused of helping with your escape," I explain. "How did you get out?"

"I killed the Peacekeepers at the front door. I'm a fast runner, you know," she states. "Please, I can't go back there," she pleads. Her eyes start welling up with tears and I almost feel sympathetic for her.

As I open my mouth to ask how she killed the peace keepers, I catch sight of a glass fork in her hand. The handle has been carved into the shape of a dagger, and is red with blood. I knew it wasn't a fluke that she won.

"Where are you going to go? We can't take you back with us," Katniss says gently from behind me. I can feel the sadness ooze off her. A little girl, scared to go into the arena, with a bird like posture as if she's about to take flight, large innocent eyes. She sees Rue. So do I. And in this moment, I know we can't turn our backs on her.

Isabelle shakes her head and her brown ringlets bounce around her small face. "I'm not asking you to. I want to leave the Capitol."

"And go where? Back to the Districts? They'll kill us there!" I exclaim.

The little girl gives a shake of her head once more and points past the memorial, and in the direction of the ocean. "I'm not suggesting we go back to the Districts. But we aren't going to stay here either. I'm leaving Panem, but it's your choice as to whether or not you want to risk your lives and follow me."


	11. Author's Note ! PLEASE READ

**PLEASE READ** Sorry guys, I hate looking and seeing there's a new chapter on a story and then realizing it's an Author's Note just as much as you guys, but please read this! I'm not giving up the book, at all. I will still be updating, but they might be slower than usual (one or two chapters a week) because school just went back and I'm really behind at the moment. I've almost finished Chapter 11 so that will be up in a day or two, so please don't give up on me! Keep reviewing, because you must know how awesome it is to see the number at the top of the page go up when another review is submitted :)


	12. Raindust

Hey Everyone! Sorry, about another Authors note and if you are sick of me, I'm not surprised! I am so sorry about this, but Fire is Fading will be on break for about a month because of Writers Block, and the person who edited it for me has gone away and won't be back for three weeks. But, meantime, please checkout my new other story, Raindust! It's another Cato one, but with Glimmer this time. Cato is a bit different in this, and not as sensitive as the one in this story, but he isn't the tough, jackass Cato the whole time either. I rather like him (: So, please check it out and review! I'm not going to continue if I don't get reviews, because I will think it means that the story is horrible. If it is, review and tell me! If you have questions, inbox me! I love reading your messages (: Please don't give up on me guys, so go onto my profile and read Raindust (:


	13. Deal With Bliss

_**Hey Readers!**_

_**I feel really bad for not having written for so long, and I know you guys are probably annoyed at me for all the Authors Notes, but don't worry! This isn't one. I guess this is more like a mini-chapter, getting ready for the next one which is almost finished, which is HUGE and very important. Sorry, nothing much happens in this chapter, but like I said, I feel bad, so I felt you guys deserve a sneak peak. Review and inbox me :) **_

_**-PrimClove**_

We lie in a dried grass meadow just behind the grave yard. Red flowers are spread all over the floor, the flowers that Isabelle tell us represent mourning and death. We haven't seen the girl since our conversation just behind where we sit now. She says she'll give us time to decide, but I know the decisions already made. Katniss was the one to hesitate, considering how Prim, her mother, Gale and his family would suffer. Then I had been the one to suggest taking them with us, in the urgency to get her out of the hands out of Capitol. I'd said it before I could stop myself, and I have been regretting it ever since. Katniss has more of a chance of winning the Games a second time than she does getting away with carrying six people from District 12, me and Isabelle. The three of us could be held responsible for ourselves, but I don't know if Katniss will be able to deal with the guilt and remorse if one of her friends were killed by someone coming after us. But she insisted, and I know as much as I mean to her, family means more. So I'd agreed, under the circumstance that if any of us were to get found, the others would turn back to the training centre before anyone else gets hurt.

"You know I love you, right?" I say.

Katniss's head is rested on my shoulder and she smiles wistfully. I don't know what I expect her to say. Is it worse if she does say it or doesn't reply?

"I know," she says. "I love you too, as much as I hate to say it. I'm just so afraid that you're going to vanish one morning and I'll be by myself again."

I take her hand and kiss it gently. "I promise, the only way you're going to get me with my eyes not watching you is if Peacekeepers drag me by my arms and legs back to the Capitol." _If I survive the journey, _I think.

"I won't let them," she says stubbornly, and I decide to leave it. There isn't any point arguing about her risking her life for me, when that's exactly what I plan on doing for her.

_How did I get here?_ I think. I volunteered for the Games to win, not to be pulled down by a girl, a girl that I had been warned about by my District. But that's what love does to you, according to the letter my mother wrote before I was born. It takes your choices away. It posseses you. Just when you're almost at the top of the hill you've been running up, you tumble down. Fall down into the arms of love and feeling.

I don't even notice Katniss singing until the mockinjays start to hum in tune with her.

_And if I only could,_

_Make a deal with God,_

_Get him to swap our places._

_Be running up that road,_

_Be running up that hill,_

_Be running up that building,_

_Just to fall back down._

I'm speechless. Both because of the meaning, and the voice that sings it. I remember listening to Katniss sing to the small girl in the arena, but her voice was filled with choked sobs, just like when she sang at the grave yard.

"You're beautiful," I say.

Katniss shakes her head and turns to face me. Her stormy grey eyes make the world around them go black, and I'm suddenly oblivious to everything apart from the girl infront of me. I have an ache to reach out and touch her to see if she's real, so much my fingers burn. We hear Isabelle leave the other side of the meadow and into the small church, but neither of us turn to her. We're too caught up in the overwhelming sense of drowning once again. And then I can't handle it anymore. My hand comes up the cup her cheek and she presses her face against it gently, smiling. We're inching forward, until my lips are on hers.

Soft and warm, my hands on the small of her back, her hands in my hair, sitting intertwined in the long grass the covers us from view.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Katniss says as she moves for a breath. "Not here."

I move my lips to her jaw line and let them linger there before pressing down. "Then maybe you should be telling me not to do this," I warn, trailing kisses down her neck and onto her shoulder, "or this," I move down to the neck line of her dress, "or th..."

I'm cut off as she pulls our lips together once more. It's different this time. There's a sense of urgency and longing. Needing.

The mockinjays continue to sing Katniss's song as I press the girl down under me and unbutton my shirt as she unzips her dress. I don't know how far I want this to go, or even if I want to go further than this. All I know is that I want Katniss. This day, as much as I know, could be our last. _My_ last.

I know what I want now, so much it hurts. I want Katniss. Because with her, comes happiness.

Pure bliss.


	14. Boarding Another Passage

"Who would have thought that I'd be escaping the Capitol with a good-looking District 2 boy and a scowling tree climber District 12," Isabelle says and looks at us both, "You guys really aren't the best match, you know."

I smile and squeeze Katniss's hand slightly as we step over the solid, grey brick bridge that connects the Capitol to the piece of land seperating that part of Panem from District 1. It's like being in the arena once more. Running from unknown forces, not knowing what twist and trap to expect next, constantly hiding and risking our lives for our allies. For me, it was a little bit _too _much like the arena. I think it's become a habit of all victors to compare their surroundings and lives to the Games. It doesn't make it easier knowing I'm not the only one who imagines muttations jumping from rivers and trees, but at least I know people around me feel the same thing. We know what to look out for when the other starts getting memories and halucinations. For Katniss, it looks like her whole body freezes, her breath becomes ragged and she reaches to touch her forehead, her mouth letting out hysterical noises. Isabelle's hand always goes straight to her belt where three blades are kept. And for me, I'm not sure what the other two see, but for me it's like the whole world freezes and I'm in the tube again, being pushed into the arena. Those last few seconds where you are considering stepping off the plate early and ending your life before someone else can.

"Did you just call me hot?" I tease and Isabelle scoffs.

"How much longer until we can rest?" Katniss sighs as she drags her legs over the bridge before trying to collapse. She hasn't slept in days, insisting to take watch for traps and hovercrafts, or refusing to rest and instead sitting up and talking with either me or Isabelle.

I put my hand under her back to keep her steady and slip my other arm under her knees, lifting the girl up so I'm carrying her. She lets out a small sigh of happiness and tilts her head back towards the sky.

"When we stop again, Katniss, you're eating my meal," I say as I notice how much lighter she has become since leaving the Capitol. We have all lost weight, but neither me or Isabelle's lack of food compare to how much weight Katniss has dropped. Isabelle had stocked up on dried apples, crackers, seaweed, soup, bread and tea leaves, but I don't imagine that we have much longer until it's all gone.

"Hmmmm," Katniss mumbles. Her eyes slide closed and she's pulled into a dream. I remember her saying that in my arms, the nightmares go away, so I continue to carry her as we walk down the dirt path from the bridge and look out to what lies infront of us.

We'd been able to either deactivate or get past all of the bombs in the Capitol in less than three days and without any major injuries, but there are rumours that worse traps lie between the Districts.

Isabelle and I stand on a thin dirt strip that has been dug infront of a forest that looks hundreds of kilometres long. I can't see anything but dark coloured trees and a train track that looks like it's been made recently and used often... A train track... Train track... To need a train track, you must need trains to be passing on it. They would be going on it often for deliveries to and from the Capitol, sending out searches for us. I'm jolted backwards, and then running forwards to a crumpled piece of paper that lies on the side of the tracks. Isabelle seems to have realised this too, because she's sprinting at my shoulder, and then ahead of me. I almost don't even remember I'm holding Katniss, but I look down to see she's still sleeping.

"It's a timetable," Isabelle says. She holds up the piece of paper I had spotted and passes it to me.

Words are printed across the page in black and yellow ink. Every day has a seventh of the page, listing times and stops of the trains.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"Twenty past five in the afternoon," Isabelle says, looking down at the watch she stole from the Capitol.

"The next train is coming in thirty minutes."

o.O.0.O.o

"I'm scared," Katniss is the first one to speak after ten minutes of staring at the train schedule blankly.

"Consider our chances," says Isabelle. "Hiking all the way to District 12 on foot will take months at least, and probably several injuries on the way. If we don't die of starvation or dehydration before we reach your family," she points to Katniss with a wave of her hand and rolls her eyes, "we'll most likely be close to dead as it is."

I know she's right, but doubt still tugs at my brain. To board a train where there is a fifty percent chance it will be filled with Capitol passengers, or maybe even Snow and several Gamemakers... The other fifty percent chance it will just be a cargo train on the way to pick up coal and goods from the Districts. "So either we try to get to 12 on foot, where hovercrafts will be crawling every inch of Panem to find us, or we take our chances and board the next train to the Districts."

"I think I'd rather take my chances," says Isabelle quickly. "Better to die in a luxury Capitol train than in the woods."

I think I see Katniss open her mouth to argue, but I'm not sure because it's closed again in less than a second. I can see how much she'd rather lie down on the mud, grass and pine tree branches every night than hide in a spare room of a train, but she knows it wouldn't be the smarter option.

"So it's agreed then. We'll take the next train that comes," I say.

The two girls nod in agreement and Isabelle mutters something about going to tie knots with the rope. The one she had carried before even entering the Capitol. Earlier, when Katniss had asked why she had it, the small girl had replied that she'd rather hang herself than be tortured to death in the arena. But she's started to use it as a form of entertainment, tying and untying different knots in her time walking.

A hovercraft materializes overhead. I grab Katniss's hand and dive for shelter of the closest tree, but Isabelle stands in the open just infront of the bridge with her hand clutching her knives tightly. The wind from the hovercraft blows strongly and I'm reminded of the cold nights near the end of my time in the arena. I remember watching Isabelle's Games, where they were placed in freezing, snowy mountains with no sunshine and temperature that was always below zero. I can only imagine she's reliving the cold nights she spent in her little cave, waiting for people to comeby and hiding from the ones after her.

"Isabelle," I hiss.

She doesn't move. Her eyes are distant, and her blade ready to slash at anything within a metre radius of her body.

Katniss moves before I can, crawling from under the tree and pulling at Isabelle's free arm in the direction of shelter, receiving a slice just below her elbow from the girl's blade.

"Katniss, it's you," Isabelle gasps and her hands goes over the cut she made on Katniss's arm.

The hovercraft is hovering over us now, as they both fall down under the tree.

"It's not after us. It's being sent to the mines," Katniss says.

She's right. It's a black hovercraft, fairly small compared to the ones they have already sent out in search for the three of us, and the red sirens at the top of it are blaring loudly, almost loud enough to burst my eardrums. Once it's gone, my ears are stull buzzing, but I barely pay attention to them. I'm more worried about the purpose of the hovercraft. The only send them out when an explosion has happened, so I've seen them rarely in my life...

An explosion in the mines.

An explosion that might be involving Gale and various other friends of Katniss's from District 12.

She lets out a gasp as she realises the same thing I do.

"What's the matter?" Isabelle asks.

"There's been an issue in the mines," I reply shortly, wrapping my arms around Katniss before she falls down into my lap and shuts her eyes.

o.O.0.O.o

Katniss is only out for a few minutes, but Isabelle has already given up on trying to wake her and has gone back to the bridge where she continues to make tangles with that short piece of rope of hers.

I stroke hair back from the stormy eyed girl's face as she finally begins to move around and flutter her eyes open.

"Did I miss anything exciting?" she asks.

I shake my head. "Isabelle had another meltdown, but she's fine now. Hows your arm?"

She looks to her cut. It's deep, but the bleeding has stopped and I don't think it's anything to worry about right now. "It's fine."

"Can I ask another question?" I say.

"Of course."

"How are _you_ ?"

She sighs. "After running from the Capitol for weeks with barely any food and sleep, with my only companions being an arogant, sarcastic, hot guy and a short-tempered, snappy little girl? This may sound weird, but I'm alright. You know, I feel... alright. Better than I have in a while."

"Maybe that's because we're one step closer to getting your family and Gale back," I point out.

At the mention of Gale, she tenses and I can see her trying to remember what we talked about before she feinted. "The explosion... the hovercraft... that was real?"

I nod. "Yes."

The light in her eyes dissapears and is replaced with what can only be described as lighting. Jolts of electricity pass through her stormy eyes.

"Maybe it's better not to think about it right now," I suggest and she smiles sadly.

"What do we do after this?" she says.

"That's a pretty vague question," I say.

"I mean, if we do escape Panem, what happens then? Will we stay together? Or will you go and find a life away from me and my family? What will we _do_?" she replies.

"If you think for one second I'm letting you out of my sight ever again, don't get your hopes up. I will be with you until the day I die," _which may not be far away_, "I love you."

"I love you too," she says before taking a deep breath. "Who's Azora?"

I'm taken aback for a moment. "She..."

"You loved her," Katniss states.

"How do you know?"

"The look on your face when I said her name."

"Yes," I say. "I did love her."

She gives me a look that asks what happened.

"Her name was pulled out at the Reaping day," I say. "No one volunteered that year."

"What was she like?" Katniss asks.

I'm suddenly grateful. That she doesn't give me her apologies, or become silent, but that she understands that 'Sorrys' don't help anything. It was one of the things no one could ever understand in District 2. At her funeral, people would send their apologies to me and fret about how sad I must be, but not one of them asked how I saw her, or asked my opinion on who she was.

"Azora was... so much like you," I say, realising it for the first time myself. "Stubborn, independent, spirited, beautiful, wanting so much to get out of here. She promised me that she would come back, or try to at least, and she did, but... She was the first person I ever loved, I can't forget her as much as I try."

"Sometimes it's better not to forget. It can keep you strong," she says.

Suddenly my mouth is filled up with the taste and scent of smoke so strong I can barenly breath. Dust blows in to my eyes and I shut them to try and help the sting.

It's gone in a matter of seconds, as I see the train coming towards us.

The three of us are racing for it at once, and it's coming at full speed.

"Take my hand," I say to Katniss and she grabs it without hesitation. I extend my other one out to Isabelle but she shakes it off.

"One," Isabelle says.

We take a step backwards as the front of the train moves past us.

"Two."

We glance into the windows, and I can see figures moving past without noticing us.

The back of the train is getting closer... closer... At the end is a small square on the outside with a ladder that leads to the top. I focus my eyes on this as I prepare to jump.

"Three!"

I push myself off the ground and all three of us go flying onto the back, desperately clutching at the ladder of anything to hold us.

When we're moving, I can feel my skin being pulled from my bone and skull.

I move towards the door at the back, the two girls following me, and it opens without force.

We climb slowly in, and are met by one face that looks at us with pure shock.

Katniss and I recognise him at the same time, though our reactions are different.

She's the first one to speak, and when she does it comes out as a rush of air.

"Gale."


End file.
